More Witty Words of Wisdom:

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot
other people in the eyes.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you
for the rest of the day.

If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.