Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.

Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the
repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat.
Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and
I'll mail you a check.

Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog.He won't bother you.
But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances,
talk to my parrot!"

"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the
following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he
has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay
there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with
his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer
and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied,

"Get him, Spike!"

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There's someone in my head, but it's not not me - Pink Floyd