(((hugs, bg)))
i would also agree that some family counseling should be considered. third party perspectives, especially educated ones, could help you all learn better ways to help her. as for listening to her: you siad you know you need to be a "receptive listener" so i think that you're on the right track here already. receptive implies that you are ready to listen in an acceptive, interested and co-operative way. as a teen (or a mom/adult for that matter) i never had to deal with something this serious but i do remember that, at around age 11/12, i was defensive and resentlful of anything my parents did that seemed intrusive or judgemental. so, even though this is much more critical (and heartbreaking) than your aveage teen/parent clash, keep in mind that she will need lots of convincing, hugs, patience and empathy. i have hope that you will help her.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose