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Old 09-12-2003, 06:48 AM
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Lilith Lilith is offline
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Digging up the Democratic dirt too

Top Ten Ways Gary Condit Can Improve His Image


10. New campaign slogan: "Oh, like you've never killed anybody!"

9. Blame everything on his idiot brother Jeb Condit

8. Stop screaming at reporters, "Holy crap! I'm actually getting away with it!"

7. Get himself really cool nickname, like "G. Conditty"

6. Release lengthy list of former interns he did not kill

5. Announce he hasn't been the same since the break-up with Nicole Kidman

4. Grow a full, reassuring, Kenny Rogers-style white beard

3. Confess, resign, serve 50-to-life

2. Focus on the 25% of voters who don't think he's a loathsome prick

1. Have sex with Monica Lewinsky
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