Hon with the emotional rollercoaster this ordeal has put you through I'd say your fears are accumulative. I know it's been really tough. I think you've had some good advice on focusing in other directions and believe me getting snockered isn't an answer. You're still in my prayers and thoughts, have faith this will come to a close soon and Iggy will be home with you. I'm pretty sure I can speak for many of us here, if you need to chat.... pick a friend any friend and talk through it. You've seen in our posts you're not alone. HUGGGS Darlin... it will get better soon.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery