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Quote:

Originally Posted by sassipants

I've been with my husband for 4 years now. He was/is my first, but I am definitely not his. I had practically zero experience when we first started dating. He's been very frustrated with me for a long time now and I don't blame him. He has a very high sex drive and I apparently don't. How do I get into sex more? It doesn't help when he says, let's have sex and tries to get on top of me. It makes him grumpy when I'm not ready to go just like that.

When we do have sex I know it's not satisfying to him. He's never been able to get me off without a vibrator. He tells me to talk dirty, but I never know what to say. Nothing will come out of my mouth, I feel like I'm just going to sound stupid. He's always the one that is in charge, because I feel like I don't know what to do even after 4 years. Does anyone know anything we can try to make sex better for both of us?

What I understand here is that even though your husband was no virgin, he doesn't seem to have much more true sexual experience than you do. There's a lot more to lovemaking than just asking for sex and climbing on top. If my man did that he'd cop an ear bashing. It's common for younger, or less experienced women to be limited in the ways that they can orgasm, so I wouldn't stress too much about that, rather rejoice that you are capable of orgasm. I do agree with the others, that you would benefit from time alone to explore your body and experiment, and if your man wants you to be hot for him, he'll be delighted to spend time savouring your body and really getting to know what makes you tick. You'll find as your confidence in your own sexuality grows, you will come out of your shell and maybe even take charge in the bedroom at times. Eventually your man may be the one who can't keep up with your sex drive.