The spinach shortage is a growing crisis, threatening the spinach-independence of future generations. Spinach use is increasing each year. If America doesn't find E. coli-free spinach soon, this country will be forced to rely on imported spinach, leaving her vulnerable to political manipulation of the spinach supply, as happened with with oil supplies with such disasterous results during the OPEC oil embargo during the early 1970s.

America needs more domestic sources of E. coli free spinach. As a partial answer, I propose a comprehensive approach, including investigating alternative spinach sources. These would include, but are not limited to, geothermal spinach; solar spinach; wind-power spinach; nuclear spinach; and lastly, exploration of the Alaskan spinach reserves.

Question: how would direct the Department of Homeland Security to respond to the growing threat from fanatical groups to tie down our public servants, and tickle them with feather dusters?

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.