A - Proposals to limit the terms of farmer's crops have been the subject of public policy debate since 1990, when citizen initiatives limiting the terms of crops were passed by voters in California, Colorado and Oklahoma. Subsequently, 18 other states adopted crop term limits, but in four - Massachusetts, Oregon, Washington and Wyoming - crop term limits were thrown out by the state supreme courts, and they have been repealed by the farmers in Idaho and Utah. That leaves 15 states with crop term limits for farmers.


Q - What're your thoughts regarding off-shore golf courses?

A -- Environmentally friendly golf courses are rare, given the fertilizers and other chemicals that must be employed to keep a golf course looking good. Additionally, golf courses are a major cause of deforestation in the MidWest and Northeast, and contribute to global warming. If golf courses can be driven off-shore, this trend will put the negative effects of golf courses off of American soil. Let the Mexicans suffer the chemicals and global warming! Thus, I am in favor of moving most golf courses off shore.


How do you feel about gasoline taxes and their impact on the economy?

A. Of course, we must worry that gasoline taxes are used only for highway maintenance and not simply to study the aerodynamics of frisbies or to increase the perks for elected officials.

Q. How do you feel about the government regulating your diet?

A: It was a difficult decision but we must increase everyone's disposable income by having them spend less on food.

Q: Did you have sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky?

A. Who? Me? :blink: That is a terrible, malicious rumor spread by my devious and deceitful opponents and spread by their paid political henchmen desguised as reporters.

Besides ... how are you defining sexual? :confused:

Q. Should political debates be held in the nude?

It's not so much a question of nude debates themselves. It's more a question of who gets to be nude during the debates. Are the pollesters to be nude? The audience? The participants? If we allow nude debates, we risk a slippery slope of nudity the <strike> should </strike> might continue until the whole country is nude, all the time.

Question: Should the use of cell phones during sex be regulated?

Answer: Not regulated - mandated. What better way is there for the government get the goods on you?


Question: What is your position on farm policy?

A: I think it's a good idea.

Q: How do you feel about controls on the production of pretzels?

Answer: They should be lifted! The pretzel emergency is but a distant memory.


Question: Do you favor outlawing fountain pens?

FOuntain pens are environmentally unfriendly, create toxic waste, and contribute to global warming.

Is it unprofessional for a Senator to sleep with his aide?

Answer: I am uncertain if it is considered unprofessional, but I have been told that if you fail to reinsert your hearing aid upon arising, it can make for a noisy breakfast.


Question: Is there any truth to the rumors that you favor changing the national anthem to ABBA’s “Super Trouper”?

A - Clearly a comment taken out of context, for everyone knows that "Fernando" is a much better song for someone trying to appeal to the increasing Hispanic demographic.

Q - Should the US government issue a second "Amnesty" opportunity for undocumented immigrants residing in America?

i'm nasty too and i didn't even get a first opportunity! outrage!

i pledge to find these undocumented deviant residers in america. i shall share my findings with all others who claim "i'm natsy" before the world.



should "the gays" be allowed to plug up our thoroughfares with pride parades?

We are approaching the whole "gay pride parade" from the wrong angle. It's not a question of clogging up the thoroughfares, rather it's a question of the moste efficient use of said thoroughfares. See, the real problem is the amount of traffic that clogs up the thoroughfares when any given group wishes to excersize their right of free speech, and build community spirit by holding a parade. If we could significantly reduce the amount of commuter traffic on our streets, then the same streets would be available for such community-building efforts.

I propose a bold solution to the traffic problem: two-day work weeks, and five day weekends. By reducing the amount of commuter traffic on public roads to just two days a week, we will become a stronger, better country.

Question: How would you deal with the annual problem caused by the onset of animal hibernation, and consequent lack of productivity in winter months?

Answer: Animal winter productivity can be easily improved by eliminating football games on Sunday and Monday. The absentee rates by those drunken animals on following days will drop dramatically!


Question: Should Sex Ed include practical Lab exercises?