Reading through the forums

[SteinFibers]

My best friend met a girl through the Internet while playing one of those RPG games. Before that, me and him use to talk, have fun, and play sports and stuff. All of a sudden he began "chatting" through the net and I lost complete touch with him. The sad thing about that is Me, him, his brother, and a friend all moved in to the same apartment together. It seemed his personality changed, he became ignorant of others around him and began neglicting his chores and for the first time we began to have serious arguements, not just me and him but everyone in the apartment. So much so that i am moving away tommorow and most likely brake all ties with my friend.

Just so you know, after all that he did go and meet her and they formed a relationship that ended last week after 2 short months.

Now had he met a girl and needed to spend some time with her in our city, I would not have stood in her way or been as unreasonable to say spend time with me not her. But he became brainwashed as this was his first relationship ever (but not hers) and she dumped him hard. Now he has not told me this but i have learned from others and he does not want to share this information with me because he knows that he wronged me and put me in a bad situation.

Now what do I do? I am still leaving, but if and when he tells me, should i continue to be his friend, but in my heart of hearts, he broke our trust and our friendship, he let someone get in the way and I stood by him trying to get it through to him he was not on the right path and he did not believe me. And now that it is over he sees the light, but I am not as forgiving as I thought I could/would/should be. I am so hurt as to think, if me and him were to never talk again, I would be fine with it, what is wrong with me?

[Casperr]

Well.......

It sounds to me like you've already made up your mind. I think you've decided you no longer want him in your life and want to make that cut.

And, that's not as silly as it sounds. If he was a real friend, he would've known if you were unhappy, and at least made an effort to change that. You say you found out from other sources that he's sorry and all that. How good are the sources? Why can't he tell you himself?

Sometimes people do change, and we need to move on. But, it's wise not to leave your bridges completely burned..... how about have a few months break from him, give you time to forgive him in your heart before you start out slowly again. An email here, and email there. A phone call once in a while.
Sometimes you need to wipe the slate clean, and start off from scratch - which means EARNING friendship, and EARNING trust.

Just my thoughts!
CasperTG

[PantyFanatic]

Listen to this guy----------^. He's usually spot on.

You may also want to consider letting him know exactly what you are doing and that you feel bad it has ended this way. It may leave a thread that can later be picked up.

[Steph]

I had a friend for 10 years and the friendship dissolved pretty quickly after we became roommates . . . he wasn't paying his share of the bills (yet he always found money to rent a car for the weekend), he left the place a disgusting mess . . . we haven't talked since and it's been two years.

I'm still letting him make the first move on the friendship :)

There's nothing wrong with you - you are hurt and you'll need some time to get over it.

[SteinFibers]

Casper, that is something I did not think about, to take a break, but I have decided today is not the day, that I will move out, But like Steph said, he is still waiting on the other friend to make the effort, the one who did wrong. So now am i Suppose to take the high road and offer the olive branch, or should i wait as well and see if my "friend" extends the first offer? Because one thing is for sure, if there is a resolusion, I belive it has to come fast, if it took longer than 2 months I don't think their would be any chance for our friendship to rekindle. And the chance that he burn me again, well i don't want to think about that. Well thanks for the advice, gives me a lot to think about.

[Casperr]

SteinFibers - there's an old saying, something about forgive, but don't forget.

Forgiveness is essential - you can't go round your whole live bearing a grudge against someone. Forgive him for having 'burned' you..... but don't forget that he's done it once, and may do it again - so be careful.

CasperTG

[Sassy Rose]

SteinFibers, I wish you the best no matter what you decide to do :) *hugs* I think we've all been there a time or two ourselves but no one can ever make your decision for you, it has to be what you are comfortable with. It may not take 2 months but give him a couple weeks and see what happens. He may realize his mistake and come foreward and if he hasn't, like PF said, let him know he's hurt you...he may be too ashamed to come forward without some incentive.

[SteinFibers]

I know, I know, there are soo many things that I didn't think of, You all make excellent points, I thought i had things figured out and I would just stick with my initial thought. It seems that everything fell apart in my life when I left home for no other reason than to be independant, and its great that i acheived that, but what happened is that I created 3 people that depend on me. I have to clean, cook, organize the bills and everything else, and I guess its the materialistic part that bothers me the most. My friend is making the payments, but life isn't all about the money, I stayed away from the apartment for 5 weeks and went back yesterday and found the place to be an absolute disaster area, I spent all day cleaning, and thought to myself, I bascially took the place of these guy's mothers. Now i wonder to myself, Was i that blind? That neive? That stupid? 5 weeks away and now i feel like a totally different person than i was for the last 9 months.

I really think had i gone to the apartment without thinking about it and with your thoughts in mind, i really would have blown up. But i stayed calm cleaned up and now am home (in my house) and regrouped and am really thinking about the next step I will be taking.

I am glad I posted this here and thank you too all of you for sharing your thoughts with me, they have helped in ways you may not have thought possible. I lost the only friend that I was able to discuss things like this and its good to know that I still have a place to vent/discuss these things, if not, I think I may have gone nuts.

Thanks,